"I want to ask "why" but there are no answers, I tried asking "what" but I couldn't find the right questions, I'm left with asking "how" and am hopeful that someone can help show me the way." JLFI was feeling rather lost today when I wrote that. It started out as a profound thought that became my Facebook status, than I decided that I needed to blog about it. I was thinking about one of my friends, who like me is going through a time right now. Granted he doesn't have the same type of issues that I have with Spawn but when looking at our two situations side by side it's hard to tell which is worse, I actually think that they are about even in some parts. I listen, I try to lend my support, it breaks my heart that I can't do more to help him. I sometimes wonder if he realizes how amazing he really is as a dad, a person and a friend...thinking about that and him, I'm sure he does, I tell him often enough. It takes a special type of person to be a dad, and an even more special one to be a single dad, especially one that pulls it all off and manages to make it look easy. He always amazes me on so many levels and I am so glad that he is in my life.
So tomorrow I go to meet Spawn's dance teacher and see how much stuff I have to buy her for 4 weeks of class. Hopefully I will also get the fall prices so I can see how I'm going to afford this if this works. eh Summer sucks. Daycare rises and so do other expenses but the money coming in is the same. Oh course Vader is no where to be found and we don't want to find him either. As long as he sends what he needs to send to the State so they can send it to me I'm all good. I'll be able to afford Spawn's dance classes that way, and her therapy and meds without killing myself.
Speaking of therapy, we're going to try that again next week, hopefully she will not throw her shoes and the couch cushions at her therapist this time. As I always say, things will turn out like they are supposed to.
Till next time...