Friday, November 20, 2009

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Maria Robinson

So I'm starting with another quote. This one from Maria Robinson, although I must admit I had no clue who she was when I found the quote so I had to go look her up. Google is your friend boys and girls. So I found that she's a writer and a blogger and such. Well since I've never heard of her before it surprised me that the quote affected me so. But considering the past year and everything that has happened I guess it falls in line with everything else.

This is my time to ditch the past and stop letting it haunt me and bind me with fear. My life moves at a pace that is almost too fast for even me to keep up with. It's easy to get overwhelmed. It was recently assumed that because the overwhelming nature of everything was finally getting to me that I was depressed. Well, thanks for the observation but sorry, no I'm not depressed. Depression is easy to fix, being overwhelmed not so much.

So off I go, work is hell and that is a hell that is not going to end soon but I WILL deal with it dammit. School is also hell, the schedule is insane but I have 18 more months. They are most likely going to be the hardest 18 months of my school endover. But at the end my bright shiney MBA and a LHRM. YAY letters behind my name. The issues that my daughter is experiencing... (sigh) I can only pray that they will get better and the team of people that I have working with me can help make a difference. I'm trying to put my life back together so that I can have that new ending that Maria Robinson was talking about in her quote. I also keep getting tugs from my past. I truely wonder if there are certain people that we are just connected to regardless of our desire to be connected or not.

We're moving forward into the holiday season. This is a time of joy, happiness and giving for most people and a time of saddness for others. A time that we remeber those that we are close to, reach out to those we haven't talked to and miss those that are no longer with us for whatever reason they are gone. This year is going to be so different from last year. I'm hoping that it will be better, without the heartbreak that last year brought. Since this is the time of year that my life started falling apart last year, perhaps this year it's  going to start coming back together.... (sigh) One can hope, I can hope. Hell with hope, It WILL be better. Mind over matter and all that jazz

So I'm going to make my new ending. Because I guess Scarlett O'Hara was right after all, Tomorrow really is another day.

Okay and that is enough of my rambling about the meaning of next post just might be about cookies...Stay tuned....

Saturday, November 14, 2009

My Alley Cat

I lost my Alley the day before my birthday. At least I was with him, petting him when he went. I hate it when a pet dies. My Alley was with me all through my pregnancy with my spawn, through Vader leaving, through my AA and my BA, through the most recent ex leaving....he was always there to lay on me and purr. What can I say, he was my baby before I had my baby. I'll miss him a alot. I know that he was without a doubt the best cat I've ever had. I'm going to miss my baby cat, because what a kitty was he.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

When Life Changes in a Heartbeat

I heard something yesterday that almost made me fall over. One of my co-workers lost her oldest daughter in a tragic, freak accident. Just weeks away from graduating with her Master's my co-worker's 24 yr old daughter was hit by a car crossing a street and just like that the world has been changed. It hit me on so many levels I just didn't know where to begin.

As a mother and especially a single parent like my co-worker is I can't even begin to understand what she must be going through. I looked at my spawn last night and just felt like dying at the though of anything ever happening to her. As a sister I can only imagine what her other daughter is going through. They were very close so it was not just her sister but also one of her best friends. It's always the amazing ones that are taken too soon.

There really are no words of comfort that can be given; nothing really takes the pain away. Everything that you can think of to say sounds trite but you say it anyway because really what else is there to say? I sent a short note, just to let them know I was thinking of them, praying for them.

It just reminds me how fast life changes, how quickly people that are here can be gone. Please remember to hug those that mean the most to you and if you can't hug them then tell them at least. You never know when things will change.
Oh before I forget, My Group, My Regs, My Innies and all my other friends, I love you guys ((((Hugs))))