Monday, June 28, 2010

The State of Florida doesn't play

So I don't know how many of you out there in blog land that actually read my blog have to deal with child support. Let me tell you that it's a complete bitch. There is no other term for it. The entire process once I got off my butt and stopped being nice took months (like from Aug to April) I mean really, we had a private agreement, all he had to do was stick to it but for some reason this was harder after he married the person he left me for, 5 years later.

Yes that is correct folks, Vader left while I was pregnant with Spawn and eventually married that person. Now that part is okay, it's not like he and I would have stayed together anyway. I'm glad that he found love and is reasonably happy with his relationship. He came to me when he got engaged and told me that he hadn't done it sooner because he was afraid I would stop him from seeing Spawn. I hadn't realized I had that kind of power in his life but okay. Within 6 months after his wedding, he took care of it himself. He stopped taking her on his weekends "because of work" since he was going to be out of town a lot. We haven't seen much of him since and right now I have no clue where he is.

Back to the child support, right before his wedding the problems paying started. I got the wedding excuse. That he would get caught up. Now it's not like I was getting a massive amount of money each month. It was barely enough to pay a couple weeks of daycare. Well I gave him a chance. When he got about 4 grand behind I had enough and put it through the State.

For that I got cursed out and Spawn and I didn't hear from him for 4 months (at that time she hadn't seen him for 3) So flash forward, we went to court in April, he was supposed to start paying in May and to my surprise he did. I was shocked and thought maybe this would be a turn around. Spawn has high dollar needs like therapy and such, the money would have come in handy. Alas, that one payment was all we have seen so far. I checked with the State, they have sent him the notice of "Hey, we need to know where you work." which is odd since he said in court he had a job. Then the notice of "Hey your late." that was almost a month ago. I found out on the 17th that they sent the "You have 20 days to get caught up or we suspend your DL." He has about 10 days left on that and I couldn't even tell you what state he was in to warn him. Spawn tested him on Father's Day and there is still no answer.

Now, if you ask Vader, he'll tell you that he has no money, that he's doing the best he can, that I'm only after the money. Well yeah, that's all he's good for anymore. He doesn't give anything to me except a headache and  part of the issues that Spawn is having can be traced back to him and his inconsistence in her life.

The only reason it hurts me anymore it because it hurts Spawn. When she tells me that she doesn't want to call him because he's mean it makes my heart break a little more. But we'll get through it. And I'm hoping that he does the right thing....or face the consequences.


  1. That breaks my heart...poor little one... I don't get these men. As of now... FP's father is in her life on a regular basis. There is no child support order or agreement... but I know first hand (as a child of divorce, who never received a dime from my own dad)... the hell that is... I just don't get how they can be so clueless to these sweet wonderful children's needs.... why they don't see how they hurt them with their utter and complete stupidity!!! Grrr... my heart goes out to you and your daughter...

  2. I posted a lil ol award on my blog for ya... come stop by if you'd like : )

  3. Thank you for the award. I'm not sure what star system Vader left his brain in but I found out in Wal-Mart tonight that he's in Texas while his wife lives here. Wal-Mart really does have everything including cashiers with info on your ex if you need it. Now that's a bargain.