Sunday, December 11, 2011

Getting back to me

So here we are, rapidly hurling toward the end of the year. Did you ever just wonder for a moment where the time went? I've asked myself that question several times this year. 

This, it's crazy to think that it's almost over. It's marked some real milestones in my life. I finished my MBA (YAY!!!) I turned 35. My sweetie and I celebrated our first year together. (Okay so that might not be that big but those of you that know know one year with the same person is HUGH)  Let's here it for bad track records and actually learning from one's mistakes. 

I've also let go of a lot of complete burning hatred bad feelings toward Vader because I've come to realize that regardless of what I did, did not do, said or did not made no difference. At the end of the day I was going to be the only one here footing the bill doing what needed to be done. 

Spawn is still mostly stable. It started to be touch and go because she saw Vader in October. The effect he has on her is negative and long lasting. I just don't know what to do and how to handle it sometimes. How do you tell someone that they are having a negative effect on your child and you wish they would just go away when you know that somewhere, somehow that person really is doing the best they can but it just isn't good enough? I'm still working on that one. It's sad though and it really breaks my heart. Spawn wants her dad but she wants what her idea of her dad should be and he doesn't live up to it. I get caught in the middle and it's no fun. 

But on the bright side, Christmas is in two weeks and I have almost all none of my shopping done. But I have ideas. Ideas are better then actually having shopping done, because shopping can be easy if you know what you're going for. I used to be the queen of Christmas Eve shopping before Spawn. 

Well that is all for now luvs, You know I can never stay away too long. Besides, we're going into 2012...there might be strange things afoot...till next time...Ciao!!!