Saturday, June 12, 2010

"A gamester, the greater master he is in his art, the worse man he is." ~Francis Bacon

This quote spoke volumes to me. I was at Universal last weekend with a friend and her daughter and Spawn. I've mentioned that the issues that Spawn is experiencing have increased. So much so that we had to go for a second opinion with a psych this week. I digress however from what I am trying to say.  My friend is also a single parent and her daughter was talking about spending time with her dad. Spawn cycled into her angry place because she doesn't get to see her dad. It made me sad to realize what he is doing to her with his in and out pattern in her life.

I really have to sit back and wonder if many of the issues that she and I are going through right now and fighting to over come have to do with his being in and out and inconsistent so much.

Being a parent is hard, being a single parent is much harder. There is no one to turn to for the tough decisions, no one to help with the discipline, no one to slump next to at the end of a hard day and ask "What in the hell was that?" Thank God for my friends, they keep me sane.

As of today, we haven't see or heard from Vader in over a month again. Last year we went from Aug to Dec without hearing from him and I think we only heard from him at the beginning of this year because of the child support hearing. 

I guess we'll see what happens and we'll manage the best that we can.


  1. I'm so sorry, honey. I can't imagine what she must feel having him voluntarily absent from her life like that.

    She's a darling little girl and it is HIS loss that he's missing out on knowing her due to his own selfishness.

    Thankfully, she has a wonderful mother.

    Love you!

  2. Funniest thing is that he called tonight and now he's in Texas and won't be back until the end of July, maybe...I didn't even know he wasn't in Pa anymore.