Wow two posts in as many days, I guess when I come back I come back...
Okay so for those of you that have read from the beginning, I thank you. For those I have picked up along the way, I am so glad you're here. When I started this blog, I was trying to come to terms with my life. I had just had a really bad break up, my poor Spawn was so out of control it wasn't funny (Actually Taz looked more in control at the time) and now here we are two and a half years later I think that I am pretty much back in control of where I need to be.
My Spawn is more in control and she and I have learned to deal with each other and the challenges that we are facing better, I have an amazing relationship (I am so glad I got hijacked into that audition back in Sept of last year) the MBA is finished and I am trying to figure out what to do now. So things have evened out.
Which leaves me with my blog, I don't really know what to write about. I mean I can write about the dance classes that Spawn goes to, the challenges of a serious relationship when one of you is a single parent and both of you are always running to shows and auditions for community theater. I can write about community theather, where the drama is not always just on the stage. But would you want to read about it.
I hope that you will, for this is where I am and since I know that those of you that have been reading have been a wonderful source of support for me, hopefully I have in some small way done something for you as well. I look forward to the next stage of the journey and hope that you all still go with me.
By the way, have any of you ever taught a cat to fetch? Mine seems to have started.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Friday, July 15, 2011
Update...
Wow, it’s been about 6 months since I posted…
There has been so much that has happened in that time that I just got lost somewhere in living and forgot to come back and update. First let me congratulate MooNBeansMama on the pending arrival of Bean. I’m so happy for her. It’s always encouraging to see awesome things happen to good people. She’s due in Feb right before Spawn’s birthday. (Which is an awesome time to have a baby if I do say so myself)
Okay so on to the update… Spawn has finished 3 rd grade with honor roll of course. She did wonderfully well with her school work and passed the FCAT with a 4 in both subjects. For those of you that are not in Florida, the FCAT is this god awful test that has to be taken by the kids here. Everyone I know hates it and I know that my Spawn was so nervous before it that it was crazy. So in August we’re going to 4 th grade. She did AMAZING in dance and we’re going to be doing that again next season as well. There have been no more issues since we had her medication straightened out and there has been a noticeable decrease in anger outbursts in the last 6 months. That has at least given me a small break and we have been able to resume normal activities. Child support is still an issue, I talk to Vader from time to time and he was in town for Spawn’s dance recital. Maybe one day he’ll be able to make payments, till then I pay everything myself and get pissed about it…
Let’s see, for my update…January to May was the worst 16 weeks of my life but I GRADUATED!!!! Yes, you read that right, I finished my MBA!!! I meant to write a post right after graduation but I have been on a 2 month boycott of my computer. Going to school on-line does that to a person. The show I did at the theater I belong to had their award ceremony last month andi I won an award for the role that I portrayed. That show will always be special because I met my sweetie during it. Speaking of my sweetie; today is 9 months for us. I’m rather proud of myself that we’ve made it to 9 months and we still like each other. I’m just as crazy about him now as I was when I first met him…well that isn’t exactly true. I think I’m even crazier about him. I’m such a sap really… but I fell and I fell hard. Okay there I said it. I think that I am most amazed every day by the fact that he and Spawn get along so well. It’s wonderful to watch the two of them, and to spend time with both of them and not have to worry about always getting a sitter.
In other news, work’s still crazy but then hence the title of the blog. We are trying to do the best we can in an uncertain time in a state that is even more uncertain about funding for such services, but this is not the place to go into politics. We have been going completely crazy busy for the past few months with a new billing system and I have implemented a new auditing system. Every day I think “What in the name of hell were we thinking?” “This is going to get better…” I keep waiting and hoping and working for it.
Okay so that is the update, I promise it will not be 6 months till the next one. Thanks to Jeff Rivera at www.GatekeepersPost.com for the email yesterday. I appreciate your reading and your email reminded me that I need to get back to this.
Till next time Ciao
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Back in a Snow Globe
So I haven't been posting much lately. It's not because there isn't much going on but because I am so far into burnout that I just can't put my thoughts into words. I'm having trouble focusing on things at work, the things I have to do for school, hell I have trouble going to the store with a list.
I keep telling myself that there is only a set number of weeks left, 13 at the time of this post, until I complete my MBA. I'm so burnt out that I can't even be happy about it. I have so many people telling me how proud I should be of myself, how hard it must have been to accomplish what I have and of course my personal favorite "I don't know how you do all that you do." Well I don't either, I don't think about it most of the time because if I do then I will get depressed.
I feel at times like my life is a snow globe and just for giggles some one shakes it up to see what would happen. I can tell that I'm fighting to make it through... (le sigh)
Work iscrazy as hell normal but busy as we try to improve things by going electronic. Why we thought this was better I don't know. But there it is. Oh well, on to the next week. My baby turns 9 this week, on Thurs. Can't wait. till then.
I keep telling myself that there is only a set number of weeks left, 13 at the time of this post, until I complete my MBA. I'm so burnt out that I can't even be happy about it. I have so many people telling me how proud I should be of myself, how hard it must have been to accomplish what I have and of course my personal favorite "I don't know how you do all that you do." Well I don't either, I don't think about it most of the time because if I do then I will get depressed.
I feel at times like my life is a snow globe and just for giggles some one shakes it up to see what would happen. I can tell that I'm fighting to make it through... (le sigh)
Work is
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A New Year, A New Hope...
So we made it through the holidays!!!! YAY!!!! There were only minor incidents with family, Spawn did not have any major melt downs and we even got her room cleaned.
Amazing I know.
I found out on Christmas Eve that the Empire was dissolving. Apparently there is a divorce happening. This information gave me no joy. It's strange, I have such mixed feelings for Vader. Part of me wants to be able to get along for Spawn's sake. To "see the good still in him" the other part can't stand the person that he is around me and the person I become around him. I feel bad, after all he was once a person I was in love with.
He asked to see spawn. I asked her and got a rather negative reaction which we will be discussing with her therapist today. So she didn't see him but I had to pick up her stuff from him. It's always a shock since we go so long between seeing each other. Every now and then I see the person that I knew, the one that attracted me to him in the first place. Just enough of a flash to keep that damn hope anywhere near alive. Maybe he really will make massive changes in his life. Maybe...As long as whatever he does is consistent I don't care. It's either in or out, Spawn can't take the yo-yo thing and I can't let it happen.
So here we go, onward to a new year, with new possibilities. Starting Jan 10 I have 16 weeks left of school then I will have the MBA. YAY!!! I can't wait.
Well till later...
Amazing I know.
I found out on Christmas Eve that the Empire was dissolving. Apparently there is a divorce happening. This information gave me no joy. It's strange, I have such mixed feelings for Vader. Part of me wants to be able to get along for Spawn's sake. To "see the good still in him" the other part can't stand the person that he is around me and the person I become around him. I feel bad, after all he was once a person I was in love with.
He asked to see spawn. I asked her and got a rather negative reaction which we will be discussing with her therapist today. So she didn't see him but I had to pick up her stuff from him. It's always a shock since we go so long between seeing each other. Every now and then I see the person that I knew, the one that attracted me to him in the first place. Just enough of a flash to keep that damn hope anywhere near alive. Maybe he really will make massive changes in his life. Maybe...As long as whatever he does is consistent I don't care. It's either in or out, Spawn can't take the yo-yo thing and I can't let it happen.
So here we go, onward to a new year, with new possibilities. Starting Jan 10 I have 16 weeks left of school then I will have the MBA. YAY!!! I can't wait.
Well till later...
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Two Days till Christmas
Or two sleeps till Christmas as my girl Moos Mamma say. I like how she puts it. Makes it sound more...I don't know exactly, just better. Right now, I'm on VACATION!!! Vacation from work and a break from school, YAY!! I so needed this time. Spawn and I are going to spend all next week together.
There hasn't been too much going on. Things with DiNozzo are amazing. He and Spawn get along and that is awesome. Things are fairly quite from the Empire, aside from not paying his child support. I guess because Spawn won't talk to him when he bother's to call he feels that he shouldn't obey a court order. Here's hoping that changes soon.
So here we are racing toward Christmas, all the cookies are baked, all the presents are almost bought and despite everything it's going to be an amazing Christmas. I get to spend it with my closest friends and family, my spawn and my sweetie.
There hasn't been too much going on. Things with DiNozzo are amazing. He and Spawn get along and that is awesome. Things are fairly quite from the Empire, aside from not paying his child support. I guess because Spawn won't talk to him when he bother's to call he feels that he shouldn't obey a court order. Here's hoping that changes soon.
So here we are racing toward Christmas, all the cookies are baked, all the presents are almost bought and despite everything it's going to be an amazing Christmas. I get to spend it with my closest friends and family, my spawn and my sweetie.
Monday, December 6, 2010
What happened to Nov
Okay so as mentioned in the previous post, I did type a post in Nov and I really did think that I posted it. Um, yeah well that was about the time that all hell broke loose in mine and spawn's life so (shrugs) things happen.
Sometimes we look at things we go through and situations we're in and we mentally divorce ourselves from them. We're there but not really there. I had one of those hell bent, OMFG please tell me this is not happening in my life moments last month. As many of you that read this blog, and many of you that I read as well, know dealing with what we deal with on a daily basis with our children that have mental illness is in a word difficult. There is always the constant struggle to make sure that they are receiving the right services, the right care, the right everything. The keeping of ones temper when they are suddenly in a manic phase, the temper tantrums, the struggling to parent and get through to them when it seems like you can't reach them at all.
And I play both mom and dad. Thank god for my friends and my roomies that are wonderfully supportive, my boyfriend too. Coming into a situation like this is never easy, hell dating as a single parent is hard enough, when you add all this on top of it it's damn near impossible. But I digress, Okay here goes, Spawn had a bad med reaction and her first hospitalization, she was inpatient for almost a week. I think the hardest thing for me to come to grips with besides the fact that it was needed, was I work there. Her meds are more stable now and while things are not perfect, they are at least better.
As I mentioned in previous posts, I had to go to court last month as well due to Vader not paying his child support. Well to make a long story short, he didn't show up, reported that he lived and worked in the state and then requested a phone conference for the hearing because of working out of state. The hearing officer was less then pleased. So if he gets caught doing anything then he will be arrested and there is a $1000 purge or 60 days in jail. He's called a few times however I am still under advisement from her therapist not to respond due to her reaction the last time and the fact that she gets angry every time he's mentioned. I offer her the chance to return his call. So far she hasn't taken it. I'm sure you're wondering why I just don't try to talk to him about all this. Well, he doesn't think I'm worth talking to, so I don't think he's worth picking up the phone for.
In other news, the show I was in went wonderfully. B and I are still doing good, it will be two months soon. I'm enjoying it and I believe he is too. He is greatly supportive and I needed that right now. Work is still insane, but well, that is to be expected.
So in the mean time, I'm going to keep hoping that Spawn's meds work, hope that Vader pays even a little of the support, hell I'd take just enough to pay for her dance lessons for a month, or even a week of day care. Something, anything to help. Between the meds, the dr's and the therapy co-pays I am getting eaten alive. According to the court order he's supposed to pay half of the co-pays for any visits. I haven't even bothered to ask since he won't pay anything toward the monthly that is due, I know he wouldn't pay anything toward those.
Well onward to the holidays and I will not go so long in between posts.
Sometimes we look at things we go through and situations we're in and we mentally divorce ourselves from them. We're there but not really there. I had one of those hell bent, OMFG please tell me this is not happening in my life moments last month. As many of you that read this blog, and many of you that I read as well, know dealing with what we deal with on a daily basis with our children that have mental illness is in a word difficult. There is always the constant struggle to make sure that they are receiving the right services, the right care, the right everything. The keeping of ones temper when they are suddenly in a manic phase, the temper tantrums, the struggling to parent and get through to them when it seems like you can't reach them at all.
And I play both mom and dad. Thank god for my friends and my roomies that are wonderfully supportive, my boyfriend too. Coming into a situation like this is never easy, hell dating as a single parent is hard enough, when you add all this on top of it it's damn near impossible. But I digress, Okay here goes, Spawn had a bad med reaction and her first hospitalization, she was inpatient for almost a week. I think the hardest thing for me to come to grips with besides the fact that it was needed, was I work there. Her meds are more stable now and while things are not perfect, they are at least better.
As I mentioned in previous posts, I had to go to court last month as well due to Vader not paying his child support. Well to make a long story short, he didn't show up, reported that he lived and worked in the state and then requested a phone conference for the hearing because of working out of state. The hearing officer was less then pleased. So if he gets caught doing anything then he will be arrested and there is a $1000 purge or 60 days in jail. He's called a few times however I am still under advisement from her therapist not to respond due to her reaction the last time and the fact that she gets angry every time he's mentioned. I offer her the chance to return his call. So far she hasn't taken it. I'm sure you're wondering why I just don't try to talk to him about all this. Well, he doesn't think I'm worth talking to, so I don't think he's worth picking up the phone for.
In other news, the show I was in went wonderfully. B and I are still doing good, it will be two months soon. I'm enjoying it and I believe he is too. He is greatly supportive and I needed that right now. Work is still insane, but well, that is to be expected.
So in the mean time, I'm going to keep hoping that Spawn's meds work, hope that Vader pays even a little of the support, hell I'd take just enough to pay for her dance lessons for a month, or even a week of day care. Something, anything to help. Between the meds, the dr's and the therapy co-pays I am getting eaten alive. According to the court order he's supposed to pay half of the co-pays for any visits. I haven't even bothered to ask since he won't pay anything toward the monthly that is due, I know he wouldn't pay anything toward those.
Well onward to the holidays and I will not go so long in between posts.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Hell Week and everything that went with it....
Note: this post is way late due to complications in the month of Nov. I thought I hit post and didn't, so here is the post that should have happened on Nov 13.
So this week has been hell week. Basically what that means is that the show I'm in, Over the River and Through the Woods opened last night. So we've been running tech all week and wow...boy do I mean wow...anyone who has done community theater knows what I mean by that.
In other news, also this week I had a total of 3 external audits at work with one to get ready for and a holiday in the middle of the week for Veteran's Day (which also happens to be my birthday and dress rehearsal for our show) I'm not really sure I could have packed more into one week.
I've been under so much stress lately. With school, work, the show, continuing issues with Harmony...one of the few things that is going well right now is my relationship with DiNozzo. During the run of the show, actually in two days we'll make one month. I'm so proud of us. Well more as it happens.
So this week has been hell week. Basically what that means is that the show I'm in, Over the River and Through the Woods opened last night. So we've been running tech all week and wow...boy do I mean wow...anyone who has done community theater knows what I mean by that.
In other news, also this week I had a total of 3 external audits at work with one to get ready for and a holiday in the middle of the week for Veteran's Day (which also happens to be my birthday and dress rehearsal for our show) I'm not really sure I could have packed more into one week.
I've been under so much stress lately. With school, work, the show, continuing issues with Harmony...one of the few things that is going well right now is my relationship with DiNozzo. During the run of the show, actually in two days we'll make one month. I'm so proud of us. Well more as it happens.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)