Sunday, May 16, 2010


I don't often talk of these things on here but I think I'm going to start having to for my own sanity. Spawn and I have been having problems. I thought that the behavioral issues were a phase, that she would grow out of them. Her father, my ex (hence forth named Vader) kept telling me it was something that I was or was not doing, too much discipline, not enough. I wasn't spending enough time with her because I was working full-time and going to school. Meanwhile, he wasn't really around either because he was "working" The tantrums and the outbursts kept getting worse and they left me feeling helpless. Then there were the secondary reactions, she was experiencing encopresis. So we went though all of the tests only to find that there was no medical reason, so back to the behavioral side we went.

Now I will mention here that I work in community mental health, so you would think that I would be able to find help for my child fairly quickly and effectively. This was not so much the case. I asked for services and was assigned a therapist, it seemed like nothing we tried worked. Our first therapist was fairly good, we tried all the normal things, behavioral charts, rewards, time outs. Everything would work for a little while then just stop. Meanwhile, Vader got married, Spawn had to adjust to me having a boyfriend and I was still in school. Then we were transfered to another therapist due to maternity leave, at first this seemed like a good move, Spawn was talking, or so I thought. There was a little improvement. Then all hell seemed to break loose in our lives, Vader stopped seeing her on a regular basis. That was the first downhill slide, then my boyfriend and I broke up several months later. This was hard on her since he had been a presence in her life for not only the time that we were together but before that and then he was just gone without a goodbye. She was having trouble in school, behavioral wise. I meanwhile was starting my MBA, dealing with the ever shifting moods and outbursts (I couldn't even take her to a store without a meltdown of epic proportions), Vader being no where around and not contacting us, a crushing breakup and trying to find a reason and a treatment for the on-going encopresis, which had been two years at this point.

It was then I made the decision to explore medication for Spawn, and so far that has seemed to help. We still have the outbursts but they are not as frequent nor do they last as long, Spawn is able to focus more. We're still battling the encopresis, but there has been improvement and now her newest therapist and I are wondering if part of it isn't more in an effort to force some control over her situation. Her issues at school have stopped, this year was so much better then last year. We have a new therapist that sees her regularly and communicates with me so that I know what to work on with her and have some direction as to what to do. I don't feel as helpless. Reading other people's blogs who have children with similar issues has also helped. It has made me realize that I am not alone with this. It was also there that I found the suggestion to blog about it.

So look for more posts like this, I know they are not exactly the most entertaining but it's what I need to do to get by.

1 comment:

  1. She's lucky to have such a devoted, loving, and involved parent who's willing to go to any length to care for her child.

    I love you. Hope things continue to improve.