Thursday, December 31, 2009

New Year's Eve

So today is the last day of 2009. I come upon this day with mixed emotion. I look at everything that has happened in the last year and it makes me sad. This time last year I was upset, one who gets dumped on New Year's Eve usually is. Now to be fair on the off chance that the Ex is actually reading my blog (as if) the official break-up (the words) weren't said until Jan 2nd. I never believed in the old wives tale that said what you were doing on New Year's Eve is what you will be doing for the rest of the year. Until this year that is, I was crying, heartbroken and shattered on New Year's Eve last year and that is pretty much how my year was. So with 2010 upon us I'm determined that I will not spend another year like that.

I was in love....something I'm not sure I can believe in anymore. I trusted, something I find I am unable to do. I have someone on the fringes of my life that is just there because that is where they need to be right now and honestly that is where I need them to be. Every now and then I think about what was lost and feel the pain that goes with it but mostly the anger at the events that took place and the way that they ended. It's always harder when they mean something to you and in the end you meant nothing at all. I work, I try to be the best mom I can be despite certain people telling me otherwise and trying to finish this damn degree.

I'm ready for whatever 2010 has to offer, weather it be a year for just me or if people on the fringes decide to step in. I do know one thing, I will not cry anymore, at least not over that. I read an article recently that said to get over it you had to get rid of everything, emails, texts, im's so tonight I did. And what do you know, tomorrow is another day.

Have a wonderful and safe New Year's Blessed Be.


  1. Good for you, honey.

    The big "purge" is a tough step to take and you're very brave and smart to be making it.

    May this year be better than the last! (That's for everyone!)


  2. This year will be better then the last sweetie, for both of us. :) Much love in your direction.