Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Holidays

Okay so we have made it through Thanksgiving, battled our way through Black Friday and have dove headlong into the holiday season. I can't believe that this year has gone so fast and so much has changed in both my life and my spawn's.

It gives me pause some of the changes that have been forced upon us because a few of them were not good (at least in my opinion) and had I been asked about them prior they would have been handled differently. I miss the person I used to be. The one that saw the good in people instead of the bad right off. I'm trying to get to that place again.

So here we are again at Christmas, may this one be better then last year. At least I'll actually be where I'm wanted instead of the farce I endured last year. I will have my spawn with me this year and will be spending time with family and friends and have special plans for Christmas Eve. Better then last year already.

Time, it seems, not only heals but shines a really big spotlight on situations allowing you to see things for what they were not just what the emotions would let us remember them as. I would like to remember some great romance with the love of my life. What I got was a hard lesson, one I doubt I will ever forget. While I was in love and hopeful and trying to be not broken, he was never in love (well with me anyway) broken in his own ways, and emotional not involved in the relationship I mistakenly thought we had. If he ever stops working long enough and is honest enough with himself to fix what his own issues are then he stands a chance at being happy. I wish that for him. I really do hope that one day he stops being so careless with the people in his life.

Vader has also departed for parts unknown, I'm told he's not currently in the state but my information is a week old and could be wrong by this time. What isn't wrong is he hasn't seen our spawn since the end of May and I have spoken to him since Aug. I'm sincerely hoping that he doesn't just show up around Christmas and decide that he's taking her. That would be bad. Really bad, like having to call the cops bad.

After Christmas we'll deal with New Year's, Dear God please let this one be better then last year. Oh wait, I don't have a boyfriend to basically dump me on New Year's Eve so that right there will be better. 2010 will be a better year, I'm going to just claim it now. Things will get better, time will continue to heal and life will go on. That's the way it always goes and if it doesn't there is always cookies.

So here we go toward the first of the year. Who knows if I'm going to get to post again between now and here so a toast for the new year, May you live life to the fullest, love with all you have and laugh often.

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