So that quote by Bill Cosby spoke to me. Especially right now, when I am most broken. I'm not making excuses for being broken, I'm not blaming reasons for it although there are many, I just am because of things that have managed to pile up and guess what....healing is a slow process. So if anyone has a problem with that and my healing process, fuck off. I know that is pretty harsh but hey it's my blog. So back to me since that is the reason I write this. It actually helps.
When you look at it like that, the past can haunt us. I am currently being stalked by the ghost of mine and I'm scared shitless. Meanwhile I'm attempting to control what I dream of the future. Not real fun. So how do we break this loop. I can hear several of my friends whisper "therapy" but they would since they are therapists. Working in mental health is really good sometimes, great EAP, but it can drive you to use them.
Healing is individual to everyone. They have to do it in their own way. Oh I know you're going to say, "But you made your blog public so you must welcome feedback." Well yes I do welcome feedback, when you have something to say. So far I've gotten some great support from my friends and even my own critic, what more could I want out of life? Really.... Well, there is the lotto and a hunky guy....well nixt on the guy, that doesn't matter much.
Recently, I've had someone chastise me on my awesomeness. It happens, If I talk about my own awesomeness then I'm vain. If other people talk about my awesomeness then I'm loved. Unless someone doesn't like me. Then the fact that I might think I'm awesome and others might think I'm awesome are a bad thing, and for goddess sake don't let it cloud your judgment of yourself and your situation least you feel better about yourself after. For those of you that don't know about awesomeness, let me break it down for you. All of us are awesome in our own ways. The people that are our friends see this awesomeness about us and we see it in them. Awesomeness is like Mojo. When you think you've lost it you sure as hell try to get it back. With out it you really don't feel like you, like you are on your A game. Don't believe me? Just go ask Austin Powers, he spent a whole movie chasing after his Mojo, and remember he's a sexy bitch, yeah baby.
Well I recently broke, I "lost" my awesomeness. But let me tell you my friends and I mean all of my friends have a common unique awesomeness, they are supportive. Some of the key things in friendship are supportiveness and understanding. There are alot more things that go into friendships and there are alot of different kinds of friendships around. One thing that really gets me is people telling me what kind of friends I should have. You can only really be friends with people if you see them 2x per week and meet face to face and.....BULLSHIT. I have a wide variety of friends, on-line, off line, some in both places. Some of them I met on line and then in person, some I met in person and can keep up with them on line. It doesn't matter where your friends are location wise, what matters is that when you need something you find out really quick who your real friends are. I know who mine are and I love them dearly.