"The best revenge is a life well lived"

The actual quote by George Herbert is "Living well is the best revenge" but either way you get the general idea. I think that this is something important to remember since we just finished with the holiday season. It was said recently by my roomie K to a situation that was just pissing all of us off making us think not nice things during the season that we should only think nice things about others and it struck a cord with me.

As I said in a recent last post, I am having seething rage from hell "anger" issues regarding certain issues involving my ex, his lack of involvement in Spawn's life and his tendency to want to just ride in and "be a part of things" and a make decisions, all while not contributing to her care or upkeep. Sure he can just put up a few posts on Facebook and some old pictures and what...all of a sudden he gets the "Awesome Dad of the Year Award"?  So now, he's moved back...I think I mentioned that in my last post. He got made at me last week because Spawn has been refusing to talk to him and I haven't been picking up the phone. I only talk to him when I have something to say and right now I don't have anything to say. He's not helping with the expenses and that would really be all I have to say to him is when is he going to pay something more then $20...

I recently posted some pictures on my Facebook...I know, it's a big deal. Several of them however were of myself, Spawn and my sweetie. I think that bothered my ex. But I mean really, Spawn was in his wedding 4 years ago and in is wedding pictures. That didn't bother me. I would get Christmas card from him and his now soon to be ex wife before they were married signed "Merry Christmas from Ex, Ex's Girlfriend and Spawn" and still I said nothing. But let me put up a picture of myself, my sweetie and spawn and he thinks about taking down his Facebook.

Now really, I'm just venting. That's what my blog is here for. To get this all out, believe me, my journal...well both of them have pages of this, trying to direct my anger...this seething anger that I have because he thinks that we need to be happy he's finally graced us with his company once again. But I realized something. Overall, I'm happy. I'm in therapy to deal with the anger but when I don't think about it, I'm happy. So while I may be dealing with my unresolved rage at his actions, I'm the one that Spawn wants to go see things like Beauty and the Beast in 3D with and it's my sweetie that she asks for when we talk about going places.

At the end of the day, this is my life...for the most part, I really like it. The parts I don't...believe me...they will be changing. Because one of the things that I have learned over the last 10 years is that if you don't like where you are and what's going on in your life then do something about it. Oh and another thing I've learned is only you can determine your reaction to things. I am going to try to choose not to react. I'll let you know how that works. 

Holy Mother of God and all her crazy nephews...

Things have been happening lately that has made me say "WTF are you thinking!! shocked me. I can not share the all of the specific details just yet, but I will say that my carefully placed snow-globe was turned upside down, shaken (not stirred) and then plopped back down.

Okay, we'll start with the obvious in case those of you out there in blog land are worried, no I have not lost my job (thank goodness) I'm not getting married (although we are doing fine and our year anniversary was in Oct) and nothing has happened to Spawn.

There that about covers what hasn't happened. What has happened is going to be an adventure, although it's not mine to travel it has the potential to completely turn my world upside down. To put it mildly this is going to take a lot of therapy. I'm worried on the potential effect that this is going to have on Spawn. What I can tell you is that the Empire has return to the sector of the Galaxy. So far she's refusing to see Vader and somehow that's my fault. Pushing her to see him/talk to him causes negative reactions. I pushed her to talk to him both days this weekend and last night for the first time in a long time she wet the bed. Good thing we have therapy tomorrow....perhaps she can tell me how to move forward with this. This is so hard sometimes. When they have issues...well what are you going to do right?

I guess you just hold on and work to make it better because it really does get better.

Till next time...