Happy New Year

Welcome to the first day of the rest of your life.....Okay well the first day of 2010 anyway. So what is in store? Who knows really but it isn't what was past, that's done. Last night was awesome, good food, good friends and good times and good fireworks. Over all it was an amazing night. So with an amazing night like that to finish the year off it just goes to reason that we would have an amazing year.

I'm claiming that we will, I know that I am going to do what I can to make my year wonderful for myself and my spawn and well if anyone else wants along for the ride come on.

Christmas time has come.....and gone.

Well, it's December 26th. YAY we made it. (Oh and Happy B-day to my Allie-D, she's amazing) We made past another Christmas!!! Okay I hate to say it like that but you know, since I had my spawn I look at this holiday a lot different then I did before. This year, like all other years my spawn got a case of the "I wannas" and the "Gimmies" These are two terminal illnesses that effect children of all ages. I even got a mild case of it myself on Christmas Day but at least it was for eatable things.

So back to what I was saying. Spawn and I had to go out on Christmas Eve for a last minute gift. I had neglected to get my roomie her gift and well, there it was. So there we were in the Books-A-Million in the mall after finding the book in question (she's going to make wonderful things from it) standing in line waiting to check out and every other word out of her mouth was "I want" or "Can you buy me" so I turned to her and uttered the words that cracked up the entire line. "You know this is Christmas Eve, I told you I'm not buying anything for you since Santa is coming tonight. Don't make me text or FaceBook him in the middle of his run to take back your presents." Yes guys I said it, I threatened to FaceBook Santa on my spawn. Bad thing is that Santa really has a FaceBook page where you can leave messages.  Welcome to the here and now when I can have Santa on FaceBook and friends of mine that will send text and pretend to be Santa for me. Good thing the spawn doesn't read my blog right.

So on Christmas Eve I got a surprise phone call from Vader......how special. First time in four months that I've heard from him. He ended up seeing the spawn today for the first time since the end of May. Christmas miracle or attack of guilt? Who knows, he's supposed to be leaving town again at the beginning of the month. I can't believe that I used to love someone so much only to dislike them so intensely now, but there really is a thin line between love and hate.

Speaking of love, I'm not in it anymore. YAY me I think. Bad thing is I'm not liking what is happening in the mean time. There is someone that I like on several levels, I'm attracted to but I don't think that I could ever fall in love with. I don't know that I could ever trust anyone enough again to fall in love. There is a part of me now that looks at people and wonders how much of what they say is a lie. I met someone several months ago, I personally think he's amazing. He makes me laugh and he makes me feel like me again. I just don't know where or what it means. I think I need to be friends first, really be friends, it it's going to be anything. We'll see, I do know one thing, damn he can kiss. :) Ya I know but sometimes you just gotta find out.

Here comes the new year in a week. I can't wait to see what is in store for me. I know for certain that it will be better then last year. I'm looking forward to it.

The Holidays

Okay so we have made it through Thanksgiving, battled our way through Black Friday and have dove headlong into the holiday season. I can't believe that this year has gone so fast and so much has changed in both my life and my spawn's.

It gives me pause some of the changes that have been forced upon us because a few of them were not good (at least in my opinion) and had I been asked about them prior they would have been handled differently. I miss the person I used to be. The one that saw the good in people instead of the bad right off. I'm trying to get to that place again.

So here we are again at Christmas, may this one be better then last year. At least I'll actually be where I'm wanted instead of the farce I endured last year. I will have my spawn with me this year and will be spending time with family and friends and have special plans for Christmas Eve. Better then last year already.

Time, it seems, not only heals but shines a really big spotlight on situations allowing you to see things for what they were not just what the emotions would let us remember them as. I would like to remember some great romance with the love of my life. What I got was a hard lesson, one I doubt I will ever forget. While I was in love and hopeful and trying to be not broken, he was never in love (well with me anyway) broken in his own ways, and emotional not involved in the relationship I mistakenly thought we had. If he ever stops working long enough and is honest enough with himself to fix what his own issues are then he stands a chance at being happy. I wish that for him. I really do hope that one day he stops being so careless with the people in his life.

Vader has also departed for parts unknown, I'm told he's not currently in the state but my information is a week old and could be wrong by this time. What isn't wrong is he hasn't seen our spawn since the end of May and I have spoken to him since Aug. I'm sincerely hoping that he doesn't just show up around Christmas and decide that he's taking her. That would be bad. Really bad, like having to call the cops bad.

After Christmas we'll deal with New Year's, Dear God please let this one be better then last year. Oh wait, I don't have a boyfriend to basically dump me on New Year's Eve so that right there will be better. 2010 will be a better year, I'm going to just claim it now. Things will get better, time will continue to heal and life will go on. That's the way it always goes and if it doesn't there is always cookies.

So here we go toward the first of the year. Who knows if I'm going to get to post again between now and here so a toast for the new year, May you live life to the fullest, love with all you have and laugh often.

Happy Halloween

There are alot of people that think that Halloween is a bad thing. Okay well maybe they are right. Getting kids high on sugar does have after effects and I am coming to appreciate this wisdom now that I am a parent. However I remember getting to go trick or treating with my mom and she dressed up right along with me. So tonight on All Hollows Eve I am contunig the tradition that I was taught and I am dressing up right along with my spawn to take her trick or treating. Hopefully it will increase her candy intake so she can share with me. One day when she has her own children she too will be able to look back and remember what her mom did with her like I can do with mine and it will help to make her a better parent as it has done me.

We tried pumpkin carving this year, it was my roomie's idea. This is a picture of the little pumpkins that my nephew, my spawn and I did. I really liked this way better. Carving the real thing was gooey and messy and icky but it was really cool at the end.


I hope every one has a happy and safe Halloween, Blessed Be and remember do as ye will and harm ye none.